My name is Emma Anastasia Clark. I am twenty years old. I tell everyone I’m five foot two, even though I’m really a quarter inch shy of that mark. I have blond hair and hazel eyes and a nose that leaves no doubt as to my Italian heritage. I also have anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, and a tendency to speak in spoonerisms. I love to write, to read, to create art, and to make other people smile. But I also have a black belt in karate, so don’t even begin to think about making me frown.
In case that didn’t make it abundantly clear, I also love terrible jokes and have a ridiculous sense of humor. Additionally, I enjoy rainy days, good movies, and every furry creature ever.
All of these facts are little pieces that, when summed up, create the whole person that is me. Of course there are innumerable other things that are part of me as well; these just happen to be some of the first that come to mind.
Let’s break down why they do so. The first is my name; this ought to be obvious. It’s been a part of me since the day I was born, and despite that I’ve changed from an Emily to an Emma, it is a core identifier. Then comes my age. This one number refers to the amount of time I’ve spent on this earth in just six simple letters. It sums up all the experiences and journeys I’ve had thus far. After that, my height. I always joke that despite the fact that I’m shrimpy at best, I have a larger than life personality to make up for it. Then some physical features that I think are most easily identifiable: my hair, my eyes, and my nose. They both tie me to my family and set me apart as an individual.
After that comes some of the more difficult pieces to this puzzle. My mental disorders. I call them disorders because they are literal dysfunctions of my brain; instead of working properly, it misfires or in some cases ceases to work as it should completely. The results of this can vary enormously, but suffice it to say that they are unfortunately an integral part of who I am.
But then, so, too, is my ability to conquer them. The moments when I feel in control of my anxiety. The times when I smile and laugh in spite of my depression. The days where I manage to eat everything that is required of me without letting the demons attack me. Any occasion where I am able to rise above the negativity and emerge victorious.
Speaking in spoonerisms? You mean spooning in speakerisms. Ahem.
I also really do love writing, reading, and creating art. These hobbies have always been passions of mine, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. They’re more than just pastimes to me; they’re integral parts of living. They’ve gotten me through some of my darkest times and been a means through which to express my joy and happiness at some of my brightest. Then there’s my sense of humor and desire to make others laugh. This has caused me to find some things wildly inappropriate and other things appropriately wild. Either way, they bring light into my life and the lives of others, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Black belt in karate? I’m incredibly capable of defending myself against physical attacks. Sometimes I wish I were more able to do the same for mental attacks. But either way, I am not a helpless, defenseless little girl. Despite that my disorders might sometimes make me want to curl up into a small ball and hide from the world, there is a bravery and a strength in me that will never give in.
And now we’ve gotten more to the point of this post.
I want to be an inspiration to others. I want them to see my journey as it is; no holds barred. I want them to travel along the path to recovery with me, whether it be a straight shot or full of twists, turns, and blocks. I want to save lives and hopes and dreams through the process of rediscovering my own.
And I will never give in. I will never stop fighting to be the best version of myself that I can be in order to best help others. This, then, is my motivation; to be an inspiration.
Come travel with me? ❤