I may have committed to recovery, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Not at all. This morning my body hatred is off the charts high. I’m hyperanalyzing every inch of my skin and finding all sorts of imperfections that I’m then exploiting. It doesn’t help that I barely slept and feel like I’m only somewhat mentally present.
Breakfast was pretty standard for me at this point, which feels absolutely positively disgusting and pathetic. Two bowls of Rice Chex with Lactaid, coffee, blueberry Greek yogurt, strawberries, two hardboiled eggs, and a blueberry muffin. As per usual, I completed it. But I feel so resigned to this awful fate. I want to be skinny again. I’m trying so hard to fight. So, so hard.
Talk to you all later. Much love 💜