Ever since waking up this morning I’ve felt foggy and funny. My nurse is super busy and my lunch arrived late anyways, so I’m stuck out here in the hallway until 2:40. It’s so frustrating when it shows up late and no one is there to make sure that it’s unpacked and ready for me. I realize that there are other patients here with far more dire conditions, but when people are walking around not doing anything and I’m asking for a simple favor to calm down my anxiety, it would be nice if they could help me.
Anyways. Feeling as shitty as I do, I had to power my way through mashed potatoes, corn, a massive pile of carrot sticks, a veggie burger set on top of a sodden piece of lettuce and enveloped in a gigantic bun, water, soymilk, and a serving of vegetarian chili. At this point I’m beyond the mechanization. I’m so used to everything that it’s just… lifeless, the way I’m doing everything. I feel lifeless. After I’m done sitting, I’m going to go change, brush my teeth, and try and lie down and forget about everything for a while. Especially the fact that someone’s lunch was just walked by me and it was literally a bowl of cereal and milk. God, I feel like a whale. A foggy, exhausted, frustrated, anxious, overweight whale.