Waiting on the World to Change

It’s a rainy Wednesday morning and that song popped into my head and now I can’t get it out. That’s called an earworm, which is disgusting, so I’m just going to call it pleasantly irritating instead. I don’t mind the song, but I wish something else would take over at this point.

And that’s kind of a metaphor for how I feel this morning. I don’t mind continuing on this journey to recovery if something else takes over. Right now it’s too unpleasant in my head and in my body and unless that changes, I’m not going to be successful. I’m trying my best but so far the disorder and my anxiety, depression, and OCD are just throwing me under the bus. Dinner last night was especially difficult. I won’t even go and talk about it.

My impulses to exercise and run away are very strong this morning. But I’d end up getting caught in the rain anyways. Plus today is pet therapy, supposedly. Not to mention I don’t actually have any chance of getting out…

I like watching the train go by. It reminds me that things pass.

Maybe at some point soon all this negativity will too. I don’t know.

In other news, this video of me reading “Through the Eyes of Anorexia” that I wrote back in February now has nearly 400 views after less than a day. I’m astounded at the response. Please continue to watch and share it; I think it’s a really important and powerful message. I’ll check back in after breakfast, as per usual. Much love 💜

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