Do I Want This Life?

That’s the decision I’m faced with this morning, in short.

Do I want to live my life, whatever it might be? Accepting that there might be better things ahead, but there may also be worse? Wondering if it might just be better to leave it now?

I wrote a six word story this morning. It reads “My journey doesn’t have a destination.” And that’s true. I don’t know where I’m going. At all. I don’t know if I want to go anywhere. I don’t know if my journey has to end right now or if its end won’t be for a long while. 

All I know is that I’m sick of eating and gaining weight and feeling disgusted with myself. And that inpatient treatment has never helped with that. Neither Walden nor McLean has given me any motivation to live. To see where my journey goes.

I’ll keep you all posted on how this morning progresses.

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