All of a sudden there are doubts being cast on whether or not I might be able to leave Monday, or be discharged to outpatient at all. Long story short, the emotional break that I was expecting to take place earlier happened. As a result I’m not even fully processing dinner. Logging what I had to eat has become sort of a habit and is weirdly calming in a way. I guess because it’s reminiscent of the behavior I used to have.
Dinner was a heaping portion of pasta, marinara, and vegetarian meatballs, a dinner roll, broccoli, two servings of strawberries, angel food cake with strawberry sauce, and water. Overall they let me off easy, but it doesn’t feel that way at all. I just want out of here. I just want to go home. It would destroy me if plans were to suddenly disintegrate. I’m already barely hanging on by a thread as it is.