Well, this is it. I’m twenty years old today.
And normally I’d be all kinds of excited, but today I just feel sort of apathetic. I’m trying my best to use it as motivation or even just a general sort of inclination to try and approach all of this positively and willingly… But it’s not working. It’s like waking up expecting a snow day and realizing it’s actually sixty degrees and sunny out. Also known as this entire December, but anyways.
I have a desire to be better, but not the will to go through the process to get there. That seems to be the core problem. I have no idea how to address it, unfortunately. Much of me wants a change of scenery and a new place of treatment to see if somehow experiencing life again inspires me to take back my own. Though this is proving impossible. We’ll see how everything transpires today. Breakfast is in about an hour, so I’ll check in again after that.
Much love 💜