Reentering the Realm of Hell

Just did 100% of lunch and I feel incredibly horrible and massively nauseous. Not to mention so angry with myself. I really hate dealing with these feelings, almost as much as I hate the fact that it’s over something as trivial as food. Of course, in my case, food is nothing trivial. It’s all consuming and terrifying.

I’m just hoping to wait out this torturous hour, then go curl up in a ball in my room, fall asleep by some miracle, and wake up to find out I’ve being moved down to Farr 7. But the way things are going today, it’s probably just going to be another miserable day trying to conquer what seems like impossible demons.

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3 thoughts on “Reentering the Realm of Hell

  1. I know it feels hard and probably overwhelming, but you CAN do this this. I’m here if you ever want to talk. I don’t comment a lot, but I’ve been following your story. I know you’ve got what it takes to beat this. Find that fight within you.

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  2. I use to dream of perfection, or rather that I would live up to others versions of said perfection. I am also anorexic and have been for over 20 years. I have missing and broken teeth from malnutrition and I have liver and heart issues. BUT I haven’t given up and I never will. Today I am a little over two years out from counting calories and starving my body. You can do this, but you have to want to want to. That’s all it takes and the people trying to help will not give up on you. There is a brighter day. There is hope. Much love.💜

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