A Waiting Game

Today they almost sent me back to the hospital. I doubt I’ll make it through the weekend.

They came in and offered me the tube and I refused, like is my right. Then they said they were going to send me to the hospital; later they changed their minds and just decided to put me in a wheelchair for what they call “chair rest”. Honestly, I think it’s just delaying the inevitable and allowing me to atrophy, but it’s their decision.

I ended up having much  less of a team meeting than anticipated, but it still worked out, somewhat. I wanted to communicate honestly with my team, and I think I did. I told them that I think heading back to the hospital to be medically stabilized while I attempt to regain sight of my lost motivation might be best for me, and then perhaps upon my return trying to implement some of the strategies and such I’ve accrued while here.

The honest truth is that this was just too much, too soon. It’s like that saying “two steps forward, one step back”. I need to take a step back before I’m ready to take the two full steps forward.

Dinner is relatively soon and I know it won’t go well. I’ll still try my best, like always, but today has just been really, really rough. The weekend is looming; just like all treatment facilities and levels I’ve been in, there’s a lot less stringent of a schedule and that allows for more free time. We’ll have to see how that goes.

I did get to finish two more of the drawings; I can’t wait to give them to their owners! I really hope you guys like them ❤

Maybe tomorrow I’ll spend some of that free time tomorrow working on my story. I’m exhausted right now and honestly could fall asleep right on top of this keyboard. Which would result in some pretty interesting results. So to spare you from that, I’ll just say goodbye for now; I’ll be back in about two hours or so.

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2 thoughts on “A Waiting Game

  1. You have to do what you think is best an if that is the hospital than that is your right. Recovery is hard and it does work best when your ready. Do you mind if I ask how long you were at the hospital and if Klarmen is your first treatment center? I remember my first and it was incredibly overwhelming. Just keep trying lovely.

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