Uncertain & Unsettled

I feel like I don’t want to be back here. And I’m not really sure how to reconcile that now that I am.

They’re actively working on getting me my things, a lot of which are clothes I couldn’t have at the hospital. There are people here I’ve become close friends with who have really, truly helped me in the recovery process. There’s no heart monitors or johnnies or bed alarms or psych patients causing nurses to run rampant through the halls. There’s a smaller, more structured, more transparent meal plan, and a team that always meets with me every day. There’s therapy groups, not just eating and staring at walls.

And somehow, it still doesn’t feel like enough. And I don’t know what to do about that other than sleep on it and try again tomorrow. We’ll see how that goes. 

Much love, and goodnight.


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