Tube Time

They increased my meal plan without telling me again. I was supposed to complete three servings of liquid supplement and could barely do two. I feel so cold and nauseous and numb right now. Learning that there still wasn’t a space in Walden for me today destroyed me again. At this point I’m just so resigned. I don’t want to feel or be anything. I wish I could just cease to be; how easy that would make everything. To not have to deal with being stuck here at least another day. To not have to worry about having another nasogastric nightmare experience. To not hate every fiber of my being.

My being.

How simple it would be, to not be.

That’s not a question, either.

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2 thoughts on “Tube Time

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this terrible ordeal Emily. You are in my prayers sweetie. You are so strong even though you don’t feel like you are right now. Your journaled experience will be such a valuable resource to others struggling with AN. God bless you and I hope you can sleep tonight! xoxo

    On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 6:47 PM, seremdipitous wrote:

    > seremdipitous posted: “… They increased my meal plan without telling me > again. I was supposed to complete three servings of liquid supplement and > could barely do two. I feel so cold and nauseous and numb right now. > Learning that there still wasn’t a space in Walden for me to” >

    Liked by 1 person

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