‘Twas the First Day of February

 

imageWell, it’s just past midnight on February first, which means it’s officially my birthday month and the first of the potential days I might be released back to inpatient. I’m lying here wide awake contemplating that, and a whole lot of other things.

Two months ago I sat in a doctor’s office crying my eyes out as I said “I think I might have anorexia,” aloud for the first time. Since then I’ve been bounced around a lot between treatment levels and have eventually wound myself up here in the hospital. I’m not sure where my treatment journey will take me next, but my only hope is finally forward. I need some positive. Back then I was certain I’d be well and healthy by spring semester. Little did I know how strong of a hold this truly has on my life. It’s almost morbidly fascinating to consider.

25 days until my 20th birthday…

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