A Dichotomy of Thoughts

My mind is all over the place right now. I’m simultaneously grateful and hateful to be in treatment, content and disgusted with myself, happy and upset to have the opportunity to receive help, optimistic and pessimistic about the future, and excited and horrified with the progress I’ve made. What’s making it all possible, really, is the unbelievable support I continually receive from friends and family. I love you all so much πŸ’• It also doesn’t hurt that there might only be 6 more meals separating me from inpatient and going back to eating at more of my own pace (6 more meals at the nurses station left to go, 6 more meals to go… No?)

My treatment team has been remarkable as well. They’ve seen and put up with me at my highest and my worst and for that I’m forever grateful 🌻 I guess I’ll end on the note that I’m ready to face whatever tomorrow brings with (hopefully) an attitude of gratitude for even having the opportunity to be alive and not suffering from worse like so many others are right now. Much love πŸ’œ


2 thoughts on “A Dichotomy of Thoughts

  1. Oh sweet Emily. I called your mom today and we reminisced. When I think of you I still picture you 7 years old, coloring pictures for me, and trying to “Babysit” my youngest son while your little brother and my oldest played Legos together. Emily dear, please know that you will prevail. You can and you will. You are of strong stock Emily. Only God knows why this is your path but there is no doubt in my mind that you will get through this and go forward and do amazing things with your life. Someday maybe , you’ll find the lessons in all this. Not today though. Today you be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself and take baby steps. Today you just do whatever you have to, however you have to, to find your way back to wellness. We are praying for you, routing for you, and cheering you on. xoxo Diane

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